Leaning In

Numbing is the easy way out. But I’m discovering when I anesthetize the discomfort, I also insulate against beauty. I pick up my phone and scroll mindlessly, unaware that I am in search of a hit of dopamine which I inevitably find. Yet the quick fix does nothing to assuage the longings of my heart. I am left empty; a hollow heart left comfortless by snippets of entertainment, beautifully decorated homes, and the latest vacations of friends. Like a test rat, I return time and time again in search of food for my soul.

What if, instead of numbing, I lean into this barren season? What if I put down my phone and step into all that's gray? What will I discover if I look beyond the surface to all the mystery lying in wait? It will take more effort than scrolling, more discipline than pulling a blanket over my head to wait it out. But I've seen glimpses in the past and I know it is there if I will only look - magic.